


The Right Melody

by thingyoudowiththatthing



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Character Death, F/M, PTSD, domestic abuse, traumatized child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-27 06:48:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15019007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thingyoudowiththatthing/pseuds/thingyoudowiththatthing
Summary: After years of abuse Reader and her son tries to move on with their lives





	The Right Melody

 

You had never planned for any of this. No one wished for the life that you somehow ended up in, but you decided the moment you walked out of the police station with no charges filed against you that you were done feeling sorry for yourself. You were done being a victim and someone else’s doormat. You were going to be the woman you had wanted to be when you were a teenager, not the one you had accidentally become.

Other people look down on women who are beaten by their husbands. They ask themselves why they let it happen and why they never pressed charges. If they don’t judge they pity. You hated both. You never chose the life you ended up in, and it didn’t happen overnight.

You met Derek in your first year of college. He was everything you had ever wanted, and you had fallen head over heels in love with him. He was charming and attentive. He doted on you. The two of you had been practically inseparable. You had similar interests, and he made you laugh. He made you feel like you were the only person in a crowded room. He had been your entire world, and you quickly began picturing a future with him.

The jealousy had started small. You even found it charming at first. He always apologized for being an idiot after and told you he was just scared of losing you.  During your second year, you moved in together. That was when it slowly started. You didn’t see the signs back then. How could you? You loved him, and he loved you. Everything between you was perfect, and of course, you chose him when he had falling outs with your friends. Of course, you chose to stay with him instead of going home to see your family when he asked you too. He was the love of your life, only he didn’t see that.  

The jealousy became worse. The first time he hit you, it had been an accident, or so you had thought at the time. Maybe it was. Maybe that’s how it started within him. You still weren’t sure, and you also didn’t care anymore. Back then, you had forgiven him. He had apologized and graveled at your feet long after you had stopped being mad. He really felt bad, at least that was what you believed at the time. Until it happened again. This time it hadn’t been an accident, but you had both blamed it on the alcohol. As did you the third, fourth and fifth time.

You had been prepared to leave him the night he forced himself on you after beating you up. You had been a shaking and crying mess after, hiding at your sister’s house but never really telling her what had happened or what was going on. She knew though, and you going back to him had ended your relationship with her for years. The thing was, you couldn’t not chose him. Not when he promised you he would get help, that he would do better and stop drinking. You couldn’t not choose him when you were carrying his child. So Derek started therapy. You got married and everything was perfect for a year. Everything was perfect until Derek lost his job, and he started drinking again.

You lived with the abuse, the sexual assaults, the fear… You lived with it all for over three years. Right up until the night that changed everything. The night he had tried to force himself on you with your son Lukas in the room. The night he had struck him across the face and sent the only reason you were still breathing flying into a wall. You couldn’t remember the details. You just remembered Lukas crying and screaming for you. You remembered the knife going through his chest when you tried to protect yourself from his fists. You remembered still holding your sobbing child, completely numb as the sirens sounded outside your house, and your husband laid dead in a pool of his own blood.

You hadn’t planned to kill your husband. That was just what had happened, and you had gotten your life back in the most horrifying way possible. Every night when you closed your eyes, you not only relieved the nightmares he had put you through, you relieved the good times and you relieved his death. You saw a therapist every week to try and get rid of the guilt. You simply blamed yourself for everything no matter how hard you tried not too.

Your son was in therapy too. He hadn’t spoken for almost a year when you finally started the teaching job you always dreamt of. His nightmares were fewer and farther in between, but he was still silent. He didn’t say a word to you or anyone else. The therapists told you not to worry and that he would speak in his own time, but you couldn’t help but worry. You were scared he blamed you and that he was going to hate you for the rest of his life. Until the day you had to bring him to work with you. He had a cold, and you had some parent-teacher conferences you couldn’t push. One of your favorite colleagues offered to take care of him, and you had reluctantly accepted.

Jared Padalecki was a music teacher at the school where you worked. He had quickly become a close friend. He had found you crying when you were working late classroom one afternoon. Lukas was with your sister, and the quiet had been overwhelming. No one in your new life had known about your past then. No one did now either. Except for Jared that was.

You didn’t trust easily. Derek had broken that part of you. Something about Jared had just made you open up to him, and you had been right to do so. He hadn’t judged you or pitied you. He had listened and opened his arms to you. You had let him hold you that afternoon, and since then you had gotten closer and closer.    

You had worried that he wanted something from you that you weren’t ready to give. Somehow you had found the courage to tell him that a few weeks before he had offered to look after your son, and his reaction still made your heart flutter.

_“I want everything with you Y/N. I’m in love with you, and I’m not going to deny that, but for now, you need a friend. I’m happy to be that for you. If you decide you wanna try and be more one day, in a week, a month, a year, then we’ll take it from there. There is no rush or expiration date on how I feel about you.”_

His words and reaction had caught you completely off guard, but it had also made you realize that maybe you wanted more with Jared too. He was different. Where your husband had pushed, he sat back and waited. He made you laugh. Derek had too,  but Jared never made other people the butt of his jokes. He pranked them, but he made everyone around him feel comfortable and cared for. He was a big child and honestly a bull in a china shop at times. He just never made you feel afraid of him. Even with his big movements and large frame, he was a gentle giant. A man that always made sure that everyone around him was happy before he worried about himself. He would listen to you and watch your reactions to everything he did. You had never felt more cared for and protected than you did when you were around Jared. He made you think, not just about all you had been through but also what the future could look like. Maybe one day you could have the healthy loving normal relationship you had wanted when you were young. Maybe Jared would be the dream that Derek had tried to shatter.

What really made you hold back was Lukas. You knew Jared wouldn’t pressure you into anything you weren’t ready for, but you were scared beyond belief to do just that to your child. No matter what else Derek had been, he had also been Lukas’ father, and you had taken his life in front of the little boy’s eyes. You had hurt your son enough, so his happiness would always come before yours from here on out.

You had just never expected what you walked into the day your conferences were over. You had never expected Lukas to choose Jared, just like you had.

“Mommy loves song,” Lukas beamed up at Jared as he played one of your favorite melodies, and the relaxed smile on Jared’s face told you it wasn’t the first words the little boy had spoken.

“Yeah? Mommy loves this one?” Jared asked, completely unaware of your presence in the hallway. Your hand covered your mouth and your eyes welled up with tears. Your heart was racing, and you wanted to run through the door and pick up your son. He was talking. You had been so scared you would never hear his beautiful voice ever again, and it was all you could do to contain yourself. You knew you had to act normal. All the therapists you had seen had prepared you for this moment even if you thought it would never come. They had told you to be calm and act like him speaking was natural. They had told you not to push him and let him do things at his own speed.

“I could teach you to play it for her? Would you like that?” Jared offered softly, while you took a deep breath, trying to stop the tears from spilling down your cheeks.

“Yes!” the little boy nodded eagerly, and all of a sudden a weight was lifted from your shoulders.

Lukas didn’t hate you. The little boy had just been dealing with something no child should ever experience in his own way, and much like you, he had trusted no one to share his burden with.

You quickly dried your eyes and stepped into the room. “Hi boys. You having fun?” you asked, and Lukas instantly jumped up and ran into your arms.

“Mommy. Jar gonna teach me to play,” Lukas spoke, as you pulled him into a tight embrace, trying your best not to start crying again.

“That sounds like an amazing idea baby,” you answered him, and your eyes met Jared’s. He smiled softly at you as you mouthed a thank you, but he just shook his head as if it was nothing. To you it was everything. Your son trusting a man he barely knew gave you the courage to start living again.

It took you a few months before you were comfortable with Jared touching you and weeks after that for the two of you to actually have sex. You still flinched every time you had a fight, but he was patient with you. He knew that you asking him to move in a few weeks ago was a big deal, and he knew that no matter how slow you needed everything to go, it wasn’t to do with him. Your healing, on the other hand, had everything to do with the caring, loving, patient man you no longer could imagine your life without. The man that Lukas was happily chatting to that moment, while they were setting the table, and you cooked dinner.

With everything you had been through in life, it had taken you a lot for finding the right melody. Still, you couldn’t regret a single mistake, because no matter what else Derek had done, he had also given you Lukas. He had set you on the path that had led you to Jared, and with the two of them, you had never been happier.


End file.
